AS I CONQUERED IT BY STRIKING MY LAST MATCHSTICK IN THE DARKNESS
Fear and social phobia became a part of my life early on – a fear of being different and a phobia shaped by the prejudices and gazes of others. As a child, I quickly learned what it feels like to be the brown one, excluded and trapped outside the group.
Sometimes, it was because I was an immigrant who could never truly be Danish. Other times, it was because my faith and culture were seen as a threat to what they called our values. I was told to wash myself clean until I resembled white people or to accept that my brown skin would always be seen as a stain. If I stayed, I risked being sent back to Pakistan, converted to Christianity, or trapped in Mette Frederiksen’s ideological control, deciding who I was allowed to be.
I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF…
I couldn’t help but write about this today. Nope, it’s not “crazy.” It’s about daring to let go of yourself and face your phobias – whether it’s Islamophobia, homophobia, or cultural phobia. Being called “crazy” or having people run away screaming says more about them than it does about me. Fear and prejudice are easy traps to fall into, but challenging them requires courage. When I use satire and provoke with my statements, it’s not to scare people – it’s to hold up a mirror. And that mirror doesn’t reflect me, but rather their own fears, norms, and limitations.
Not everyone is ready to look into that mirror, and that’s okay. Fear is powerful—it makes us build walls instead of bridges, seeing “the other” as a threat instead of an opportunity. But it’s in those moments that we need to meet—not to point fingers or judge, but to ask, “What are we really afraid of? And why?”
THIS REFLECTION DIDN’T COME OUT OF NOWHERE
It started with a conversation when a friend shared something with me—a post filled with comments that made me pause and reflect. The raw honesty in those words provoked and inspired me. I carried the conversation forward, writing about it on X, and it sparked something.
Writing this helped me better understand the dynamics of fear—how it divides and exposes us. The more I wrote, the more I realized that if someone calls me “crazy” for challenging norms, I’ll take it as a compliment. The world doesn’t change by repeating what we already know. It changes when we dare to ask if we might see things incorrectly.
If being “crazy” is what it takes, I’ll gladly be it. Maybe we’re all a little “crazy” – and perhaps that’s what makes us human.
EXAMPLES OF FEARS & PHOBIAS
10 PHOBIAS THAT CREATE HATE, DIVISION & DISTANCE BETWEEN US
This list isn’t just a collection of terms – it’s a mirror of our own fears. I share it because it’s clear to me how much fear shapes our relationships. Not only how others see us but how we see ourselves through their eyes.
- Islamophobia: “He’s probably part of a bigger plan to bring Sharia law to Denmark – a ticking bomb just waiting to explode.”
- Homophobia: “He’s probably trying to push his ‘lifestyle’ onto us and destroy the traditional values we’ve built.”
- Cultural Phobia: “He doesn’t belong here – his culture is too primitive and incompatible with our values.”
- Transphobia: “He probably doesn’t even know who he is. Why should we change to fit into his world?”
- Xenophobia: “He’s just another one taking resources from us and refusing to adapt to our way of life.”
- Status Phobia: “People like him make it harder for regular Danes to keep our rights and place in society.”
- Neophobia: “He represents everything new that’s ruining our old, secure way of life.”
- Economic Phobia: “He exploits the system and lives off our taxes while we work hard to make ends meet.”
- Theophobia: “He uses his faith as a weapon to control others and stop our freedom.”
- Control Phobia: “People like him will completely change our society, and we’ll have no say in it.”
THIS LIST IS NOT A DICTIONARY
It’s an attempt to understand what fear does to us – not just how it divides us, but how we can learn to face it, handle it, and reconnect with one another. Because only by understanding our own phobias can we break the walls they create.
Islamophobia often manifests through biased narratives and harmful rhetoric. Learn more about how figures like Sjúrður Skaale perpetuate such biases in our in-depth article.
Xenophobia often manifests as fear of the unfamiliar, leading to discrimination and exclusion. For an example of how this unfolds in public discourse, explore the case of Nina Palesa Bonde‘s fan base and their xenophobic behaviour.
Cultural and religious fears often stem from misunderstandings or one-sided narratives. If you’re curious about the complexities of religious identities, check out our deep dive into Zionism.
WHEN I DROWN IN THEIR PHOBIAS
A phobia is more than just an irrational fear – it can feel like a wall between us. Social phobia is one of the most common forms of phobia, creating distance between people. For many, the fear of being judged or rejected is a constant battle. When someone harbours a phobia against the unfamiliar, religion, sexuality, or culture, it’s not just them who feels the consequences. Their fear becomes hate, and that hate becomes my fear: the fear of not being accepted for who I am.
I’ve felt their gazes – not just curious, but judgmental. I’ve heard their whispered comments and sometimes faced outright rejection. It feels as if their phobia becomes an excuse to keep their distance – a distance that breeds even more fear, not just in them but also in me.
But what if we could break this spiral? What if it starts with daring to look each other in the eye – and seeing beyond the phobia, prejudice, and hate that so often dominate our interactions?
CAN YOU HATE IN A LAND OF FREE SPEECH?
Freedom of speech is a cornerstone of our society, and I’m grateful for it. But where is the line between freedom and responsibility? Can the right to express oneself truly justify hatred toward others? In a country where diversity should be a strength, I often see how freedom of speech is used as a shield to legitimize discrimination.
But hate isn’t just words. Hate is gazes, actions, and structures that harm those of us on the other side. For me, the question isn’t just whether one can hate but whether we can withstand its consequences.
Perhaps the answer isn’t to limit speech but to use our voices to break the silence. Only by speaking can we one day overcome fear and possibly find a path to hope.
WHY SHOULD FEAR DEFINE US?
Fear lives in all of us, but its strength lies in our silence. When fear becomes a phobia, and phobia turns into hate, we don’t just lose each other – we lose ourselves. I don’t believe we can survive as a society if we allow fear to be the force that defines us.
There are many reasons for fear—religion, culture, sexuality—but they all share one thing: fear often says more about us than about others. If we dare to face it, we can begin to take power away from fear and transform it into understanding.
My journey has taught me that fear only loosens its grip when we confront it directly. Not with hate but with hope. Not by building walls but by building bridges.
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WHEN WE DROWN IN THE PHOBIAS OF OTHERS, WE LOSE THE CHANCE TO BREATHE IN OUR OWN FREEDOM
GANDHI, MANDELA, AND MARTIN LUTHER KING
THREE VOICES AGAINST PHOBIA, HATE, AND FEAR
Mahatma Gandhi was more than a leader – he was a movement. His fight against British colonial rule in India was a political revolution and a moral awakening. Gandhi demonstrated that peace can be stronger than war through the philosophy of ahimsa (non-violence) and satyagraha (the force of truth).
GANDHI – NON-VIOLENCE AS A WEAPON AGAINST OPPRESSION
In 1930, when he led the Salt March, a peaceful protest against British salt taxes, Gandhi showed how nonviolence could overthrow even the most powerful empires. His words—“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”—remind us that hate only begets more hate.
Today, we face Islamophobia, homophobia, and racism—injustices that divide us. Can we learn from Gandhi? Absolutely. We can build bridges where walls once stood by confronting injustice with peace and action. It takes courage, but Gandhi showed that change is possible without violence. Gandhi was a leader and inspiration for many who fought for justice.
MANDELA – RECONCILIATION INSTEAD OF REVENGE
Nelson Mandela is the epitome of strength through reconciliation. After 27 years in prison under apartheid, he could have chosen revenge. Instead, he chose dialogue. His words – “Freedom is not just about removing one’s chains but living in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others” – remind us that freedom is personal and collective.
Mandela knew that revenge would only perpetuate a divided South Africa. Instead, he united a nation by finding shared values. Can we do the same? When faced with prejudice or hate, we must remember Mandela’s choice: to build peace, even when it feels like the hardest path.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. – A DREAM OF EQUALITY
Martin Luther King Jr.’s iconic speech, “I Have a Dream,” is a milestone in the fight against racism. His dream was not just a vision but a call to action. He challenged a system built on discrimination and showed the world that words and non-violence could dismantle even the most profound injustices.
His words – “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” – still resonate today. I think of his message when I encounter discrimination – whether against my religion, background, or identity. It reminds me that we cannot remain silent when we see injustice. Silence is consent.
IS IT A RELIC OF THE PAST?
CAN WE LEARN FROM THEM?
Gandhi, Mandela, and Martin Luther King Jr. taught us that the fight against hate, fear, and phobia requires courage, action, and faith in humanity’s goodness. Even today, we face the same challenges: Islamophobia, homophobia, racism, and fear of the unfamiliar.
Their stories remind us that small actions can lead to big changes. When we see injustice, we must ask questions. When others choose silence, we must speak out. We must use their legacy to break the cycle of fear and hate.
We cannot simply admire their words – we must live by them. Because dreaming of a better world is not enough. We have to build it, one step at a time.
Breaking free from fear requires knowledge and perspective. For more unbiased insights into global issues, visit our blog.